A pile of sticks

So a lot of things I discovered about myself. Some that I was suspicious about and others that I wish I never discovered

First thing is first. I have tried multiple times to go out with a girl. One they don't work out. Two they don't work out cuz I just don't be feeling the same. I really don't feel like that little butterfly feeling when I am around them. They don't brighten my day when I see them. So I think that I am most likely gay.

My family is probably gonna flip when they see this but IDC. We love who we love. And right now I love a man. I will not hide who I am any longer. Just because my family doesn't like or approve of gay men like that.

Another thing that I discovered is that actually that is the only thing I discovered today.

I am gay and proud. Do I wish to have kids in the future yes but doesn't mean that can't still happen. Am I afraid of what can come out of this no. I can handle my shit. Who ever got something to say pop. I feel like I am 100% me now. Now the word Faggot is going to make me even more mad. I am comfortable with myself now and the way I act.

My life made a 180 for the better and this was the last step to me being happy. literally lmaooo.

5/5/11 I love you Tababwaba.... and NO I am not gonna give his name out.

Pretty Happy in "like" With You

Let me tell you everything so different since my last post. I am so happy. For multiple reason. My love life hasn't been all the great in the past but now it couldn't be better. 5/5/11 AND 6/6/11 are the best days. I won't say who the lucky ones are. All I am saying is I couldn't be happier. Besides my love life everything is perfectly fine. I am graduating high school in 2 weeks. :) I graduated Boces today. :) I couldn't be happier. My life has made a 180. Even though I love drama and it is very fun to deal with I haven't had much lately. Which is good because I am only trying to focus on the positive now. Like a wise women said
"The world will give you back what you put in it, If you put positive things into the world then that is what you will get back."

Sometimes I have a struggle with my sexuality but it's different then usual. I know I like boys but I'm confused about girls. Weird. Right now im dating a very pretty amazing girl (6/6/11). I care for her a lot. And I am going to take things slow with her because I want things to be perfect.

I am also day this really sweet boy (5/5/11) so I have been with him for a little over a month. Things got rocky, but even when they were he showed that he cared and that he wanted to be with me.

I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but I also have to be honest to myself. I don't consider this cheating because it is two different genders. But if one of them considers it cheating than I don't know what to do.

I am not stressing about it but it is on the back on my mind that most likely one day I will have to make a decision of who I want to be with. At the end of the day I am going to choose the one who treats me best and I have the deepest connection with.

A year ago I was mad that I had nobody in my life. And now I have 2. lol. Even though this is on the internet my mom doesn't know about either relationship and I would like to keep that way until I feel it is the right time to do it. Which is I have no idea when.