I will never in my life forget any of this. Too be completely honest I do feel like I was played. For the last couple of days I have been feeling on top of the world. Now that I am in a relationship I thought things would be so good. But I was wrong. No matter how positive I maintain myself things will always be perceived as negative.
I have been acting very optimistic lately and been smiling about things a lot more. I have been having a lot of fun at my tutor although the work could be very stressful. I've tried to maintain neutral in a lot of the arguments in the house but this one I had to say something. As I proceeded to walk up the stairs my younger eleven year old brother elbowed me on the side of stomach. I knew that if I hit him back it would cause some trouble. So I just told him to watch out. Since he ignored I decided to repeat it again my mother was present this time. Unfortunately even though I was the one hit I wasn't the one she defended. I don't need anybody to fight my battles. But what is right is right and what she and he did was wrong.
One thing I hate the most is being targeted and in almost every argument I am gained up on. I can handle my own just not in the best way. I do have the tendency to yell when I am feeling attack. I found it wrong that me being hit was not even considered. What gets me very mad is that if I hit someone or do something everything gets thrown in my face and a huge problem happens.
Low blows were thrown everywhere. My mom brought up the fact that I was kicked out of school, and that I was finishing school in a tutoring center. I don't like that when I am trying to prove a point of what happen was wrong someone wants to throw a cheap jab and think nothing will come back at them. I did generalize my family in saying that "this family is full of 2 faced people and hypocrites" even though I do believe that there are a set few that aren't.
Since my father was brought up in all this nonsense and she was trying to degrade him I took it upon myself to throw a cheap jab not only to her by also to my eleven year old brother who started it all by bringing up his dead beat dad. I am not afraid of throwing somebody under the bus if they do it to me. My mom likes to put out there that my father did all these horrible things that I won't mention because I love him but yet wants to forgive others that have done it to her as well. Which is why I kept calling her a hypocrite. Apparently she didn't like that to much.
The argument then leaded to me saying that I want to finish school to leave and never even mention this family again. The reply that I get to that is that the doors are open and that I can leave when I choose too. So I left to try and steam off. Although when I was leaving she was like come back here and your not going anywhere. FOR REAL MAKE UP YOUR MIND. The argument continued. I seriously think she kept me just to fight lol. But she took it to a place where she shouldn't have and hit me. I don't like when people put their hands on me. Since she is my mother and a FEMALE I couldn't do anything but attack the things around me.
I repeatedly told her that I don't care about her opinion or anybody else opinion of how I am, who I am, and much less the way I conduct myself. I went into my room and started knocking things over and broke my fan. Now that was stupid of me lol. She called my father thinking I was going to back down from her and thinking I wasn't going to say what I have to say.
I said with my father on the phone that she has lost respect from me. The way that I am treated is not the way others are treated. So much for "I love all three of you the same". I did eventually calm down talking to my father but doesn't mean I forgive her for what she did. It's hard to hear a mother say that she doesn't want you around and she wants to send you away. I am a strong believer of if you say it you mean it. Don't apologize for it later. I can never trust her again and unfortunately once I leave this house yes I will appreciate what shes done for me. Put food on the table and a roof over my head. But I will not mention my family. Well some of them I will.
I have been put through to much mental abuse to think about them my whole life.
Btw! family members that read this. ITS MY BLOG AND I WILL SAY WHATEVER I WANT TO SAY ON IT. If you don't like it don't read.
Until next time. The Life Of The Ken Doll isn't so glamorous and perfect at all!
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