When the Elbow Hits the Fan?

I will never in my life forget any of this. Too be completely honest I do feel like I was played. For the last couple of days I have been feeling on top of the world. Now that I am in a relationship I thought things would be so good. But I was wrong. No matter how positive I maintain myself things will always be perceived as negative.

I have been acting very optimistic lately and been smiling about things a lot more. I have been having a lot of fun at my tutor although the work could be very stressful. I've tried to maintain neutral in a lot of the arguments in the house but this one I had to say something. As I proceeded to walk up the stairs my younger eleven year old brother elbowed me on the side of stomach. I knew that if I hit him back it would cause some trouble. So I just told him to watch out. Since he ignored I decided to repeat it again my mother was present this time. Unfortunately even though I was the one hit I wasn't the one she defended. I don't need anybody to fight my battles. But what is right is right and what she and he did was wrong.

One thing I hate the most is being targeted and in almost every argument I am gained up on. I can handle my own just not in the best way. I do have the tendency to yell when I am feeling attack. I found it wrong that me being hit was not even considered. What gets me very mad is that if I hit someone or do something everything gets thrown in my face and a huge problem happens.

Low blows were thrown everywhere. My mom brought up the fact that I was kicked out of school, and that I was finishing school in a tutoring center. I don't like that when I am trying to prove a point of what happen was wrong someone wants to throw a cheap jab and think nothing will come back at them. I did generalize my family in saying that "this family is full of 2 faced people and hypocrites" even though I do believe that there are a set few that aren't.

Since my father was brought up in all this nonsense and she was trying to degrade him I took it upon myself to throw a cheap jab not only to her by also to my eleven year old brother who started it all by bringing up his dead beat dad. I am not afraid of throwing somebody under the bus if they do it to me. My mom likes to put out there that my father did all these horrible things that I won't mention because I love him but yet wants to forgive others that have done it to her as well. Which is why I kept calling her a hypocrite. Apparently she didn't like that to much.

The argument then leaded to me saying that I want to finish school to leave and never even mention this family again. The reply that I get to that is that the doors are open and that I can leave when I choose too. So I left to try and steam off. Although when I was leaving she was like come back here and your not going anywhere. FOR REAL MAKE UP YOUR MIND. The argument continued. I seriously think she kept me just to fight lol. But she took it to a place where she shouldn't have and hit me. I don't like when people put their hands on me. Since she is my mother and a FEMALE I couldn't do anything but attack the things around me.

I repeatedly told her that I don't care about her opinion or anybody else opinion of how I am, who I am, and much less the way I conduct myself. I went into my room and started knocking things over and broke my fan. Now that was stupid of me lol. She called my father thinking I was going to back down from her and thinking I wasn't going to say what I have to say.

I said with my father on the phone that she has lost respect from me. The way that I am treated is not the way others are treated. So much for "I love all three of you the same". I did eventually calm down talking to my father but doesn't mean I forgive her for what she did. It's hard to hear a mother say that she doesn't want you around and she wants to send you away. I am a strong believer of if you say it you mean it. Don't apologize for it later. I can never trust her again and unfortunately once I leave this house yes I will appreciate what shes done for me. Put food on the table and a roof over my head. But I will not mention my family. Well some of them I will.

I have been put through to much mental abuse to think about them my whole life.

Btw! family members that read this. ITS MY BLOG AND I WILL SAY WHATEVER I WANT TO SAY ON IT. If you don't like it don't read.

Until next time. The Life Of The Ken Doll isn't so glamorous and perfect at all!

Graduation and Fashion?

Yes this is a second blog post on the same day.

Well what can I say, a day without school should go smoothly. WRONG!!! Even though I didn't get any sleep, my mood has been pretty good. I am so done with Fashion Class though. I am at my tutor came early to get work done. My Fashion Class has been stressing me out to the max! It is the most complicated thing that I have ever been put into. Not only is the teacher now making excuses of why she might not give me a grade, but shes also being a bitch. Now I know language like that shouldn't be used, but its the truth. For some reason the strange thought of "they might be doing this on purpose" comes through my mind every time something happens.

I have come to the conclusion that I am not liked at all by the head ones in charge in my house at the high school. What they don't know is that they shouldn't play so many games. I have told my principle time and time again, "next time I see you have security because I am going after you." Is it a threat yes. I really don't care how anybody takes it. My future is in jepordy because of a miserable teacher.

I couldn't agree more that my time in Schenectady High School helped me discover who I am, a badass bitch. I really don't wish to graduate high school with this ill feeling towards them. I get more and more anxious for June 23 to come, but not for the right reason. One thing I don't want to happen is that I get made a fool in front of people at graduation and in front of my family. Unfortunetly things happen for a reason and something good must be coming my way.

It's hard to say if I will graduate this year or next year. All I can say is that these idiots are not going to be happy if they see me again next year. They will have the surprise of a lifetime. I miss all my friends and really do miss high school. It is said that high school is the best four years of a persons life, unless you think its college. I have missed the last couple months of high school, but I am definitely still winner in this game of high school.

Char Lovers and BGC6 renuion part 1

The BGC6 reunion was a very decent one for a season that a lot of viewers didn't like. This reunion special started off a bit different than the other ones. It started off with Perez Hilton going back stage. But lets cut to what is important that actual reunion. Was it a coincidence that the two new found friends sat next to each other and everybody that hated Char sat in one couch? I think NOT! One thing is for sure Char came back with a set of balls. Char tried to defend herself saying that the girls should have notice her fake like tendencies in the house. I honestly think that is a cop out. She tried to go hard by saying the girls did nothing in the house so why yall mad. Bitch you didn't do shit either. But in Chars defense. Wait I have no defense for her.

I liked that now that Kori and Jessica both saw how fake Char was they confronted her and weren't scared to show the world that they do have a mind of their own. I personally think that NOBODY ran that house. Char was controlling the girls they were her friends. There is a difference. She never gave them orders or bossed them around. And Nikki did her own thing so she didn't run the house either. I think Chars main purpose was to run a house thinking that was the point of the show. To clue you in C.e.b its not.

One by one the replacements came in and we started off with Wilmarie. Who claimed that she was going to hit Nikki next time she saw her. I didn't see any hitting.



Even though Perez said that she won most of the fights I still do believe that Wilma is weak. She knows that Nikki will hit back on the reunion because there is no risk of going home. But they quickly ended her shit and brought out loud mouth Jennifer.



I chose an ugly picture of her on purpose. I obviously don't like her. What I most liked was when Perez gave her some weak sauce. She tried to act like it didn't bother her but it definitely did. Jennifer, who I believe was the weakest one in the house, began to immediately attack Nikki. Even though Wilma was the one who really wanted Jen out the house. Oh wait I forgot She accidentally bumped into Wilma and they cleared the air. I honestly believe Jen just wanted some back up at the reunion. Nikki didn't back down anyways.

Perez brought out the prettiest girl of the season out. Ashley.




Clearly when Ashley came out you could tell this girl is not happy. She admitted that she was disappointed at Char and Kori the most out of all the girls. One thing I didn't understand is when did Ashley become one of Chars so called minions. But Char tried to act like a big girl and stand up for an argument or even a discussion she wasn't even in. Perez would ask her why she thought Kori didn't like her and there will be Char speaking. Char just tries to be another Natalie and Tanisha but falls short by a lot.

Perez proceeded to show the clip of Ashley and Kori fighting. Where I do Believe Kori won, but if Kori and Ashley were alone fighting I think Ashley would've won. Char kept making comments and Ashley would shut her down. As my fellow favorite girl of BGC6 would say "Nothing to say bro". That was the end of the Ashley basically nothing else important happen with her on the reunion.

Next came out my sexy siren Sydney... S.S.S???




Even though Sydney only came out for a little bit on the first part of the reunion. She manage to get a lot in. Char is clearly intimidated by her. She couldn't even say what she said behind Sydney's back if it wasn't for the other girls mentioning it. Crack head tendencies. Sydney looks good as hell. Don't see any crack anywhere. I love Chars reaction to the response Sydney gave to Perez's question. Her face looked ugly as hell.